Blog #2: AP English Literature Benchmark Poetry Essay & Reflection/Revision & Reflection

             In the sixteenth-century poem For That He Looked Not upon Her by George Gascoigne, the author expertly evaluates his social attitudes through imagery and diction to tell an emotional story.

             Gascoigne begins the poem by addressing 'Her' and stating that "you must not wonder, though you think it strange" when speaking about his head which is held low. This immediately achieves the idea that the author is not comfortable in his own skin. By assuming she "think it strange", he gives off the sense that is not worthy of speaking to her. Instead of being confident in himself, he is being defensive right off the bat, and apologizing for past behavior. This sets the tone for the rest of the poem.

            The author then uses a mouse metaphor to explain not only the attitude of many individuals, but to subtly indicate his feelings for her. In lines 6-7, the author explains that a mouse whom evades a trap, "is seldom 'ticed with the trustless bait, But lies aloof for fear of more mishap." This theory, a theory that believes risk is not equal to reward, a theory which holds a guiding principle of safety, shows just how protected and sheltered the 'mouse' lives. Although no physical harm is done to the mouse, no emotional gain is achieved either, as he feels "aloof for fear". In actuality, the mouse is symbolic of the author. The imagery used is very relatable to every audience imaginable, which helps emphasize his thoughts. This story is just one example the author uses to explain his feelings for her.

            The poem ends with a choice the author can make. In lines 13-14, the author states, "So that I wink or else hold down my head, Because your blazing eyes my bale have bred." The diction choice of "blazing" shows he is clearly fond of the girl he is speaking to. The option that he details to her is that she may be given attention by the author or not, but that depends on how daring the author chooses to live. He may get burned like the fly (line 9), or he could wink and take delight of the gleams on her face (line 4). This demonstrates a clear attitude dilemma he faces, as it seems he may be lacking confidence or even afraid. Even still, he is "dazzled by desire" in the hopes that all will turn out well.


          Through a couple of crucial, imaginative examples, the author explains his inner thoughts to the girl in an elegant fashion.


Reflection:  On August 21st, we analyzed the rubric for the George Gascoigne poem prompt to decipher deserving scores for various essays. Now I am digging deeper to determine where my own writing can be improved. At the time I felt my interpretations of the poem were correct, but after viewing more specific and concise essays, I'm not convinced that is true. I then noticed there were many literary terms that the sample essays mentioned, that I was completely unaware of.  There seemed to be many rookie mistakes as well such as: 5 paragraph essay, non-existent transitions, too vague of a thesis, and superficial analysis to name a few. Having analyzed the rubric, sample essays, and 5 Steps to a 5, I now think this essay is worthy to be scored around a 4. This means that, although an adequate first attempt, there's a lot of room for improvement.

Comment on Yash's essay: The score of a 6 for your essay is fair, as it addresses the prompt well and includes detailed analysis. In turn, this analysis is backed up strongly through evidence from the poem. The most important element of the essay, in my eyes, is a strong interpretation of the poem. This seemed evident and reasonable, although the analysis could be better developed and more convincing. One suggestion I have is to not mention the author's "excellent diction" but to instead give the diction (or any other device) a description. This understanding could significantly improve your score to the desired 7 you wish to attain. For a first essay, however, this is a solid interpretation of George Gascoigne's writing.
http://patelyashapenglish2016.blogspot.com/

Comment on James' essay: A score of 6 for this George Gascoigne essay is more than fair, especially for a first draft. For me, the most relevant and crucial aspects of the essay was cemented in the body paragraphs. It was there that you discussed the author's motive for using rhyming schemes, and how it connected to the the speaker's complex attitude. It is true, however, that some of the analysis could be more convincing and more developed.In the time constraints, I think your ideas were expressed clearly. The essay also flowed nicely, as paragraph hooks made the essay easy to read. Having read your interpretation of the poem, I believe this is a solid analysis with a great foundation to improve upon.
http://zhujamesapenglish2016.blogspot.com/

Essay Revision
        In "For That He Looked Not upon Her", George Gascoigne explains to the reader the character's inner struggle with self-worthiness as it relates to the opposite sex. Gascoigne's emotional fragility, as it turns out, is in direct conflict with his ability to express himself. Utilizing real-life examples, Gascoigne implements situational imagery and thoughtful analogies to convey the character's contrast between thoughts and actions, as it relates to 'Her'.

         Gascoigne begins the poem by addressing 'Her' and stating that "you must not wonder, though you think it strange" when speaking about his gloomy head which is held low. This immediately achieves the idea that the author is not comfortable in his own skin. By assuming she "think it strange", he gives off the sense that is not worthy of speaking to her. In fact, he comes off of as submissive and unsure of himself. Instead of being confident, he is being defensive right off the bat, and apologizes for past behavior. This sets the tone for the rest of the poem.

       The speaker then uses a mouse analogy to explain not only the attitude of many individuals, but to subtly indicate his feelings for her. In lines 6-7, the author explains that a mouse whom evades a trap, "is seldom 'ticed with the trustless bait, But lies aloof for fear of more mishap." This theory, a theory that believes risk is not equal to reward, a theory which holds a guiding principle of safety, shows just how protected and sheltered the 'mouse' lives. Although no physical harm is done to the mouse, no emotional gain is achieved either, as he feels "aloof for fear". In actuality, the mouse is symbolic of the main character. The speaker is very conflicted on his role in the relationship with his significant other. The mouse is cautious of death, similar to how the speaker is cautious of his place in the relationship. This story is just one example the author uses to explain his feelings for her.

        The poem ends with a choice the author can make. In lines 13-14, the author states, "So that I wink or else hold down my head, Because your blazing eyes my bale have bred." The diction choice of "blazing" shows he is clearly fond of the girl he is speaking to. Powerful words such as "blazing" and "gleams" indicate the woman is very sure of herself. It is also evident that her presence captures the spirit and attention of the narrator. He simply "takes no delight to range" which is supposed to be a compliment. The option that he details to her is that she may be given attention by the author or not, but that depends on how daring the author chooses to live. He may get burned like the fly (line 9), or he could wink and take delight of the gleams on her face (line 4). This demonstrates a clear attitude dilemma he faces, as it seems he may be lacking confidence or even afraid. Even still, he is "dazzled by desire" in the hopes that all will turn out well.

       What the speaker seems to imply through his selection of figurative language, namely the analogies, is that he is afraid of uncomfortable situations. Afraid to take a leap of faith. Deep down he seems to realize that she would better him, as this poem is truly a poem of self-discovery and evaluation. Although they may be opposites on a personal level, there is clearly something that he feels is missing in daily life.